The world is at my fingertips.

The world has ended? In all seriousness though I spent a good portion of yesterday and a great deal of this morning downloading a great big ton of ebooks for my Nook. I'm pretty happy about it because I can't afford to buy books and the library can be a big fail at times with their wait times and return dates. Expecting me to be on time? Psh. My only problem now is that I can hardly decide what to read next and I've still got four library books checked out in need of my attention.

Oh is it lunch time already?

Technically it's what I refer to as "hell week" at work.

Come on skinny love just last the year.

The Lovely Bones is even more gut wrenching in novel format. They definitely toned the movie down to make it more family friendly; though the movie was certainly disturbing too. Susie Salmon may be a fictional character but she's also representative of all the young girls/women this sort of thing really does happen to. It's hard to read. So I am lucky to be here and not away in pieces. We all are. Because we survived. All the little troubles seem far away. My physical appearance could use some work but what does it matter that my hair hasn't been touched in months. I am waiting until I can put it all into a pony tail. It is uneven like everything is. My eyebrows are as thick as thieves. Maybe that one I can rectify. I notice these things but they don't seem to really matter in the grand scheme. People out there are being defiled and murdered somewhere, who am I to worry about some paperwork or forgotten wax? Because it's hard? Because we want to be better or happier or sleep a little easier in our beds? Who the fuck are we to cry out over things so nearly pain free? Day by day. I curl inwards, words scrolling by, and I wait. Day by day.

The Hunger Games.

I can already see how this book is going to become addicting. I've just started it and I already don't want to put it down for dinner. I love the smell of adobo drifting throughout my house. Yellow rice is started and black beans are prepared to cook. I wasn't going to cook because I was in a bad mood but Matt had already set the chicken out to defrost before he left for work so I said to hell with it. I might as well eat good while I can, right? And obviously if I have to play my own round of Hunger Games it's not going to be nearly as bad as I imagine it is for these kids. More reading, Dexter, Food, and more reading! No Supernatural tonight, unfortunately, no matter how Matt whines of missing it. We finished season two a couple of days ago and I am waiting for season three to come in at the library. Should be in tomorrow. They didn't have it at BJ's (my membership gives me some good deals on books and dvd's... I got s2 for only $18.99) but I can get season four there later. I'm trying to get him into Dexter but he says it's slow paced. Serial killing takes time, man! Work tomorrow :( Actually have to do a lot of it since I got irritated today and passed a good portion of my time redoing my layout here and on Tumblr which relaxes me for some reason. Fuck the man.

Rain rain. This weekend someone (or two) peed on my dog. This is why I almost never allow people in my home. I'm really glad my point has been made. Don't need it. And seriously if you're going to say "It's just a dog." and when I question you and you realize I was listening throw your gloves up in the air and say "That's not what I meant." you probably never should have said anything, Michael. You big liar you. That's exactly what you meant. Though I bet if someone peed on your gloves it would be a real tragedy. The real kicker was that the people kept laughing as though it were the funniest thing they'd done all night ("accident" or not) and that is what kept things going. That dog is like a child to me and no doubt I like and trust him more than those supposed superior humans so maybe I'm biased but if you have kids one day I suppose you don't expect for someone to come by, pee on the wall of your house and just start laughing when the little tyke doesn't know any better and runs underneath in his spiderman under-roos. And if you moved away how is it that he was absolutely soaking wet? Oh and then to have the audacity to request to sleep on my couch for the night and wake up the next afternoon and hang around until someone finally has to tell you to leave... Nice going. I digress because everyone is stupid! Made some extra cash over the weekend by putting flags in people's yards for my office. Which was terrible but I couldn't stop laughing at the situation and I felt like a criminal with a runny nose the whole time. It kept on raining. We coped afterward with grilled cheese sandwiches and soup. It rained on 4th of July. No big deal to me. We grilled in the garage and sat in beach chairs in the rain on the driveway while the grill cooked and took in other people's fireworks. Locke found them interesting. Didn't last long though, because it was wet and cold. Monday was spent hibernating. When I read Sookie Stackhouse I feel like I'm reading a cheesy romance novel. But Sookie is so damn darling (and badass) that I have to stick around. What is unpleasant though is reading graphic and kinky sexual parts of stories and accidentally looking at the picture in the back of the book of the author who wrote them and feeling instantly creeped out. THIS is the mind that was created in? Oh dear. I don't speak only of Sookie but also The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. I can't seem to wrap my head around work today. I can't seem to wrap it around reading an ebook either. So I'm just working but bored. I have a lot to do this week anyhow. Thankfully this is a short week.

The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.

I read 13 books in the month of June? And I could of read more if it weren't for all the time I devoted to other things... like perusing book stores and Goodwill and hosting couple tv marathons. Why am I so happy and content with not having a life? Well, on to Dexter season 4. More proof of my lack of a life. And my interest in serial killers? Not really. I must admit this Trinity Killer could be the creepiest of all time. Will never watch 3rd Rock From The Sun again.




Watch out JGL! He's gonna rape you... in a bath tub.

:(

Going now.

I am currently reading a novel by Agatha Christie. This reminded me that many of my younger years were spent solving important crimes with Nancy Drew. I miss her dearly. I'd like to add her to my GoodReads list and give her the props she so obviously deserves yet I can't remember which of the books I've read and which I have not. Sorry Nance.

The Secret Lives of People in Love by Simon Van Booy


My rating: 5 of 5 stars
This book forces you to fall in love. Then quickly you must go.I was compiling a list of my favorite stories from the book but the list grew too long.

View all my reviews >>

I am tired today. I don't know what inspired Matt and I to stay up so late last night. We ended up delirious in laughter and talk. We were arguing, only not really, and the dog chimed in on my side. When I would speak he would sit close by listening silently. After Matt would get done saying something he would make a strange sort of howl and noise of discontent as though he disagreed with him and called him a liar. It happened over and over again. It was greatly amusing. I am mostly caught up at work. Finished with the delightful Jane Eyre and her tale of passion and servitude and trying to get into The Picture Of Dorian Gray without much luck. I can appreciate the writing, as I see several quotes already that I love, but I'm just not interested. Hopefully I can stick it out. I am sure I just haven't gotten to the good stuff yet. And of course I am tired and consequently distracted. I am dreaming of an IPad in my hand. Streaming Netflix and keeping track of my Ebooks (though nothing compares to a book in print!) and the like. Oh Steve Jobs, get your dirty paws off of me. Don't you think you've seized enough of my money over the years?

"Then you are mistaken, and you know nothing about me, and nothing about the sort of love of which I am capable. Every atom of your flesh is as dear to me as my own: in pain and sickness it would still be dear. Your mind is my treasure, and if it were broken, it would be my treasure still: if you raved, my arms should confine you, and not a strait waistcoat — your grasp, even in fury, would have a charm for me: if you flew at me as wildly as that woman did this morning, I should receive you in an embrace, at least as fond as it would be restrictive. I should not shrink from you with disgust as I did from her: in your quiet moments you should have no watcher and no nurse but me; and I could hang over you with untiring tenderness, though you gave me no smile in return; and never weary of gazing into your eyes, though they had no longer a ray of recognition for me."

"My nerves vibrated to those low-spoken words as they had never vibrated to thunder — my blood felt their subtle violence as it had never felt frost or fire; but I was collected, and in no danger of swooning. I looked at Mr. Rochester: I made him look at me. His whole face was colourless rock: his eye was both spark and flint. He disavowed nothing: he seemed as if he would defy all things. Without speaking, without smiling, without seeming to recognize in me a human being, he only twined my waist with his arm and riveted me to his side."

Bloody Mary x's 3.

We like Supernatural.
I'm tired. Spent today accomplishing productive things and reorganizing our bedroom.
Tomorrow it's me and you, Jane.
By the way Harry Potter Land looks ridiculously packed. I hate crowds of people. I think i'll hold off until summer is gone and it's not hot as balls outside and hopefully there will be a few less people there to ruin the experience. I can only imagine how magical it'll be when the weather is chilly and wonderful.
Where do the weekends go?

It's the way that we live.

I just realized that since I'm sort of a slacker in order to reach my 50 books a year goal I need to read 35 books in 6 months. That's about 6 books a month. I will probably only accomplish this is if I continue to have no life and I hadn't really intended upon having a life any time soon so this may just work out. That is unless of course I am able to take classes this Fall. I'm still emailing around attempting to get the Drop/Delete form I need to have signed in order to try to get it approved. Then hopefully that happens and those two classes that should have dropped but didn't leaving F's on my record and $600+ in fees will cease to exist. Oh academia.
In other news (you can't really call these things news) The L Word is getting taken off of Instant Netflix July 1st and I've been trying to watch the last two seasons that are on there while they're still free. It's a bit heavy though, consider you've got a primarily female cast and imagine the overflow of cattyness. It's a good show though, particularly since it's on ShowTime and they can really express themselves by saying Fuck a lot. Obviously this adds spice to anything. Then again I am just a potty mouth. This season is a little strange though. Alice is really scraping the bottom of the barrel these days. Have some taste, Alice, I took a quiz and got you as my character result and you're really making alternate universe lesbian me look bad.

Not including the few I started or got halfway into and refused to finish...

Books Read So Far This Year:

1. Alice In Wonderland
2. Through The Looking Glass
3. Too Much Happiness
4. The Catcher In The Rye
5. Birds Of America: Stories
6. Eat, Pray, Love
7. I Was Told There'd Be Cake
8. Prozac Nation
9. Looking For Alaska
10. Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang
11. The Golden Compass
12. Pride and Prejudice
13. The Subtle Knife
14. The Amber Spyglass
15. Animal Farm
----
16. Everything That Rises Must Converge (in progress)
17. Sense & Sensibility (in progress)
18. The Unabridged Journals Of Sylvia Plath (in progress... forever)

Thrifting and whatnot.

What have I done with my long weekend you may ask? Not much of anything. I spent a great deal of it thrifting, as you can see from the photos above. I acquired all of those books for less than $15 total. It's the cheapest way to go. Even books on Half.Com cost at least $4 a piece with shipping. What to read next? The only one of them I've already read is Eat, Pray, Love. I've been reading Pride & Prejudice but haven't picked up Plath's journals in awhile. They're very heavy and as I already tend to over think myself there are only certain times I can stomach her writing. Tumblr has kept me from doing as much reading this weekend as I would have liked. I don't know why, sometimes I just get so sucked in and inspired by that site. Other times I can't stand it. There was "Jack" who was here one night and sadly gone the next. This left me a funk all of yesterday, which I spent eating ice cream and watching old episodes of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Yes, this is real life. Matt has spent the whole weekend gone and working, although tonight he wants to take me to dinner. I am not ready to let this weekend go. If this were my life, all reading and inspiration, i'd be most pleased to wake up every day. Instead I slave away at a meaningless 9-5 that really makes me want to kill myself. I'm supposed to visit Ringling on Friday but I'm wondering if it's almost pointless to waste a sick day on that when I'm not considering attending until next year and a lot can change between now and then. Financially, Ringling worries me a great deal. I just need to feel like I'm doing something during this economic crisis, working towards something with meaning, and is college the only way to do that? Taking on all that debt? I don't know. I really don't know which way to turn anymore. Am I wasted if I spend each day making money, in love, and reading books and taking photos and playing with my dog and looking for inspirational things? Traveling when I can. Is this wasting life? What else is there to do? Is Ringling really the right place or do I just need it to feel like my time is worth something?

Faith is a lying tramp.

I regret not having a Rupert Giles in my life or an Oz. Any of them really. I'm also still really lusting after a nice claddagh ring but when at the mall I saw some pretty crappy looking ones at very high prices. This Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Making me long for things.
Speaking of longing I am waiting on buying my Lens until I have more funds. I could buy it, but I should wait. So long as I have it before 4th of July i'll be happy. I scored a copy of Pride & Prejudice at Target today for $2.50. They have others too: Wuthering Heights is one. Tomorrow: Thrifting. Library. Sunday: Pool side. Welcome to the long weekend. This entry has been rather pointless.

I've all but given up on the 30 Day Challenge. It began to bore me (as things tend to do) and kept me away from here in guilt. The next one I was to do asked me to choose a best friend. How should I do that though? I've always hated that term. Do I choose the person that knows more about me and my quirks than should be allowed, but is my significant other so of course (matt) or the person who has supported me since I was fifteen, who it's hard for me to relate to these days but whose son I consider my nephew (melissa), or the person with whom I share a "bff meter" who has been there for me many times over the recent years (manny) or the person who may be newer than the rest but I relate to most and can hold endless conversations with about the things we believe and both feel passionately about (shaunna)? I have a few others who are good for talking too. I mean, who ever came up with the term "best friend" anyway? What were they trying to prove?

Another wanted to know my favorite recipe. I make my scrambled eggs in the microwave.

I'm anxious to get that new lens. I think it will be wonderful to have on 4th of July given what i've heard about its response to low light situations.

Back to Pride & Prejudice. I know this is everyone with a vagina's favorite book but I'm just not getting it yet. Maybe later.

New layout complete.

To Happily Purchase After Bills Are Paid:
35mm Prime Lens
Remote
Filters

To Eventually Purchase In June:
Larger Tripod
Class

And I am certainly not reading Pride & Prejudice on a website while at work. No definitely not.

Me: "So I'm reading The Golden Compass and polar bears are guarding prisons and wearing armor. On LOST they were turning donkey wheels. I don't think polar bears know they're supposed to be doing all of this cool stuff. All I ever see them do is advertise for Coke."

Matt: "You rehearsed that joke didn't you?"

Me: "...No."

May 30 Day Challenge - Day 5

Day 5:

Favorite Quote -
[I have far too many favorite quotes collected over twenty three years living with a mad love of words, so I am just going to use one that I read lately, and liked quite much.]

"We try, we struggle, all the time to find words to express our love. The quality, the quantity, certain that no two people have experienced it before in the history of creation. Perhaps Catherine and Heathcliff, perhaps Romeo and Juliet, maybe Tristan and Isolde, maybe Hero and Leander, but these are just characters, make-believe. We have known each other forever, since before conception even. We remember playing together in a playpen, crossing paths at FAO Schwarz. We remember meeting in front of the Holy Temple in the days before Christ, we remember greeting each other at the Forum, at the Parthenon, on passing ships as Christopher Columbus sailed to America. We have survived pogrom together, we have died in Dachau together, we have been lynched by the Ku Klux Klan together. There has been cancer, polio, the bubonic plague, consumption, morphine addiction. We have had children together, we have been children together, we were in the womb together. Our history is so deep and wide and long, we have known each other a million years. And we don't know how to express this kind of love, this kind of feeling. I get paralyzed sometimes. One day, we are in the shower and I want to say to him, I could be submerged in sixty feet of water right now, never drowning, never even fearing drowning, knowing I would always be safe with you here, knowing that it would be ok to die as long as you are here. I want to say this but don't."
Elizabeth Wurtzel - Prozac Nation