that man lives across the hall from his own fucking heart.

Oh Lorrie Moore, how I adore you. It's nice to get back to some writing with meaning. I get so sucked into these damned YA supernatural/dystopian novels. They are a guilty pleasure. Guilty pleasures are what I've needed lately. I'm hoping that by 2011 I'll feel revived. All I want to do is stay home anymore. I'm too mentally exhausted for much else. I'm not even unhappy. Just tired. It seems hard to explain. A little bit physical too.

"I think I'm anemic."
"Are you on Web MD?"

I officially filed on Tuesday.

I've had syrup on my shirt since this morning and I just don't care. If it's 5 o clock somewhere does that mean I can go home?

I want to stay up all night. I don't want the weekend to end. It's always there and then it's spent. One year almost. I fear the warmth will fly one day. Here is shelter. Low lights and quiet. I rarely leave it. I want to eat good food and see the sun rise. I always make it under before that hour though. Warm arms are hard to refuse. It's nice to touch.

Me: I had a dream. There was a wolf spider in the living room and you hit it with a broom and we thought it was dead and we walked away... but I came back and it was alive! But it was missing two legs and there was a baby (not ours) on the floor in a car seat and the spider was standing up vertically on the car seat taunting the child and dancing and I yelled for you and you came back running with your broom and the spider scurried off and that's all I remember.
Matt: You need therapy.

Good morning.

Coffee, Plath, The internet.

I set my coffee to brew at 10:55 but did not rise from my bed until 11:30. It was still warm. Took the dog out and fed him. Put the bedding in the wash. Football starts today and i'm home alone so i'm not sure i'll watch it all day. I'll have to check in on my teams. I am participating in a pool. Why does coffee always cause my teeth to ache?

I'd really like to be an elementary school librarian. Or any kind of librarian. I should probably get a move on then, eh? I really need to try to get things worked out at the school. Those charges on my account are one thing but I got bad marks in classes I didn't even know I was enrolled in. That is going to affect my ability to get aid again, I think. Plus my GPA is down before I've even really started. I took a sick day Friday since I woke up at 4am sick so now I'm afraid to ask for time to go to the school. My boss leaves in two weeks though so I should really do it before then.

Big plans for today.

1. Puke.
2. Tumblr.
3. Puke.
4. Books.
5. Puke.
6. Stumble.
7. Puke.

I haven't gotten any further in my plans than that yet.

Shaunna is my favorite person. Good day sir.