Here I am, a rabbit hearted girl.

6.20.2010


Something that never fails to depress me daily is the fact that I cut my hair. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't wrong to think I wasn't satisfied with my hair at the time because I really wasn't. It was so long yet so lifeless and I felt like I wasn't doing anything with it so I might as well cut it. Only I forgot that I find shorter hair at times insanely difficult to manage and less feminine. I really do have to work with it. At least this cut anyway. When the a-line grows out I think i'll be a lot more patient about my hair. Yet another impulsive decision for change throwing away a year's worth of hair growth. For something on the outside to make me happy when I am in one of my low slumps and can't change anything within. I like short hair on girls. I don't think you need to have long flowing locks to be a woman. Maybe (as many have said) shorter hair even looks better on me. But I've been here already. I feel like i'm 20 again with this hair cut. And I'm not. I'm 23 now. I want something new. To have the patience for it. To not try to rid myself of it the second I am feeling low about myself whether physically, mentally or emotionally. It's just hair. This post is sort of pointless. For me though it is about a lot more. It's about my tendency towards impulsive decisions that make me happy in the moment and will fill me with remorse later. I do this a lot with money as well. Or I did. I've been really good about this lately and I feel a lot more secure in myself for it. I think to step away from impulsion is the growth I need right now in my life.