Blasphemy.

As someone who reads a lot I feel like I should want one of these. Part of me does I suppose. I see them in my email, shaking their asses at me, trying to lead me forward into temptation. I see them at the store, with their cute little cases, calling to me to come take a look. "You're not a real book you evil thing!" Look away quickly. Go to the REAL books. But are they so evil? Having any book at my finger tips without having to drive out to the store or wait on a list at the library? Excellent. The fact that it's not really a book I'm getting? Not so excellent. I love the weight of a book in my hands. I love the pages. The smell. I know I can read books on screen. I do it all the time at work. So small of a screen might irritate me though and well... i'd probably just be wishing for a real book. But I could carry so many at once! Why are we so obsessed with instant gratification? Are we going to be the last generation holding on to our REAL books screaming "You kids just don't understand! Back in my day we read REAL books. We threw them at the heads of our lovers when we were fighting. We laid them next to us in sleep. We used them as little tables for our lunches. Can your little whatchamacallit handle a ketchup spill or a near tumble in the bathtub?! Oh I think not." Do you think so? If even we can be tempted where is the hope for REAL books? Like little people on our shelves. Sure, we'd never abandon them fully but they would lose a little of our attention. Yet the words are the same, are they not? C'mon guys... It's just so instant! This all ties in to the rising divorce rate, I'll have you know. We're not just talking books here. This is srs businz.

Matt says I should stick to the real thing and get a flip cam. We're just going to go ahead and put his reasoning aside because I know I know what it is (no.) and say yes I do enjoy filming anything and everything.

I want too many things. Good thing I don't buy any of them.

I might as well be the lamp shade.

The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.

I read 13 books in the month of June? And I could of read more if it weren't for all the time I devoted to other things... like perusing book stores and Goodwill and hosting couple tv marathons. Why am I so happy and content with not having a life? Well, on to Dexter season 4. More proof of my lack of a life. And my interest in serial killers? Not really. I must admit this Trinity Killer could be the creepiest of all time. Will never watch 3rd Rock From The Sun again.




Watch out JGL! He's gonna rape you... in a bath tub.

:(

Going now.

Me: I had a dream that I had two fish but only one fish tank. And you lived at Wal-Mart but I couldn't find another fish tank so I had to put one fish in a big freezer bag. Only I realized it couldn't breathe so I'd have to poke a hole in the freezer bag. But I was really afraid of stabbing the fish. I didn't. I knew he would escape though so I kept trying to get someone to take me to Petco to get another fish tank. You had a sister and you loved her more than me. I went to the bathroom and there was a tarantula so I let it crawl out of the bathroom and into the living room towards you guys so that I could pee. Oh and your Wal-Mart/Home was also a school and your sister was a security guard and I went to where the buses come in and made the guy watching them hold my sweater and he kept yelling at me that it wasn't his job and I told him to get over himself... Now I want a fish.

Matt: You're making this up, right?

Me: No!

I am currently reading a novel by Agatha Christie. This reminded me that many of my younger years were spent solving important crimes with Nancy Drew. I miss her dearly. I'd like to add her to my GoodReads list and give her the props she so obviously deserves yet I can't remember which of the books I've read and which I have not. Sorry Nance.

I just found out I can now wear jeans to work. My day is made. Plus it's Friday. A day of wonders in itself.

The Secret Lives of People in Love by Simon Van Booy


My rating: 5 of 5 stars
This book forces you to fall in love. Then quickly you must go.I was compiling a list of my favorite stories from the book but the list grew too long.

View all my reviews >>

Kurt Halsey

Sadly Know and Regretfully So Forth

Rise

Proof of Feeling

Our Favorite Songs (like worms tied) Squirms and Hurts, but We Keep Them Close

Oh I Have Loved Perhaps A Few

My Closest Companion

Maybe To The Moon

I Kill Myself With Questions (my heart beats too big)

I Believed It Would Be Forever

Hollow (a home for ghosts)

Elk and Gold

Branches (or bridges... I burn them both)

Black Slate

www.kurthalsey.com

Bed time stories.

I am housed in a body so tired it is unable to sleep.

I want to clutch my love to me but physically I am hot as though the fires of my mind have swallowed me whole.

I hear distant sounds of a circus and know for a moment that the
pitch black of darkness makes all souls go quietly and secretly
crazy when faced with its black slate.

My mind wanders through doors.

Flashes of color and passion within each border.

All the stirring pieces of waking life keep eye lids weighing heavy with the bed time stories of my adult life;

they toss and turn me like waves until

I am peacefully carried out to sleep at sea.

I am tired today. I don't know what inspired Matt and I to stay up so late last night. We ended up delirious in laughter and talk. We were arguing, only not really, and the dog chimed in on my side. When I would speak he would sit close by listening silently. After Matt would get done saying something he would make a strange sort of howl and noise of discontent as though he disagreed with him and called him a liar. It happened over and over again. It was greatly amusing. I am mostly caught up at work. Finished with the delightful Jane Eyre and her tale of passion and servitude and trying to get into The Picture Of Dorian Gray without much luck. I can appreciate the writing, as I see several quotes already that I love, but I'm just not interested. Hopefully I can stick it out. I am sure I just haven't gotten to the good stuff yet. And of course I am tired and consequently distracted. I am dreaming of an IPad in my hand. Streaming Netflix and keeping track of my Ebooks (though nothing compares to a book in print!) and the like. Oh Steve Jobs, get your dirty paws off of me. Don't you think you've seized enough of my money over the years?

Uh huh.

Bette - Tell him to bite me.
James - I can't tell him that!
Bette - Tell him that all great art is a response to small minded corporate fascists trying to impose their ignorance on the sheep-like masses.
James - I'll tell him you have a dentist appointment.

"Then you are mistaken, and you know nothing about me, and nothing about the sort of love of which I am capable. Every atom of your flesh is as dear to me as my own: in pain and sickness it would still be dear. Your mind is my treasure, and if it were broken, it would be my treasure still: if you raved, my arms should confine you, and not a strait waistcoat — your grasp, even in fury, would have a charm for me: if you flew at me as wildly as that woman did this morning, I should receive you in an embrace, at least as fond as it would be restrictive. I should not shrink from you with disgust as I did from her: in your quiet moments you should have no watcher and no nurse but me; and I could hang over you with untiring tenderness, though you gave me no smile in return; and never weary of gazing into your eyes, though they had no longer a ray of recognition for me."

"My nerves vibrated to those low-spoken words as they had never vibrated to thunder — my blood felt their subtle violence as it had never felt frost or fire; but I was collected, and in no danger of swooning. I looked at Mr. Rochester: I made him look at me. His whole face was colourless rock: his eye was both spark and flint. He disavowed nothing: he seemed as if he would defy all things. Without speaking, without smiling, without seeming to recognize in me a human being, he only twined my waist with his arm and riveted me to his side."

She's british.

Shane: "You lay low."
Tina: "No she doesn't. She needs to stand up for herself. She needs to let everybody in here know she's not afraid."
Shane: "Oh really. I'm not so sure. No, she should stick to herself and stay out of all the drama."
Alice: "You guys, she gets a family and she gets herself a daddy."
Shane: "No she shouldn't! Are you joking? No, she should stay out of all that shit. Stick to herself. That's it."
Tina: "She's an alpha female."
Alice: "She's British!"

Something that never fails to depress me daily is the fact that I cut my hair. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't wrong to think I wasn't satisfied with my hair at the time because I really wasn't. It was so long yet so lifeless and I felt like I wasn't doing anything with it so I might as well cut it. Only I forgot that I find shorter hair at times insanely difficult to manage and less feminine. I really do have to work with it. At least this cut anyway. When the a-line grows out I think i'll be a lot more patient about my hair. Yet another impulsive decision for change throwing away a year's worth of hair growth. For something on the outside to make me happy when I am in one of my low slumps and can't change anything within. I like short hair on girls. I don't think you need to have long flowing locks to be a woman. Maybe (as many have said) shorter hair even looks better on me. But I've been here already. I feel like i'm 20 again with this hair cut. And I'm not. I'm 23 now. I want something new. To have the patience for it. To not try to rid myself of it the second I am feeling low about myself whether physically, mentally or emotionally. It's just hair. This post is sort of pointless. For me though it is about a lot more. It's about my tendency towards impulsive decisions that make me happy in the moment and will fill me with remorse later. I do this a lot with money as well. Or I did. I've been really good about this lately and I feel a lot more secure in myself for it. I think to step away from impulsion is the growth I need right now in my life.

Bloody Mary x's 3.

We like Supernatural.
I'm tired. Spent today accomplishing productive things and reorganizing our bedroom.
Tomorrow it's me and you, Jane.
By the way Harry Potter Land looks ridiculously packed. I hate crowds of people. I think i'll hold off until summer is gone and it's not hot as balls outside and hopefully there will be a few less people there to ruin the experience. I can only imagine how magical it'll be when the weather is chilly and wonderful.
Where do the weekends go?

I have much work to do but I'd rather be reading Jane Eyre. I've found that I've been interested in this book from the very start which wasn't true of the last two classic ebooks I read (Jane Austen) and hate to be torn from it back to the world of check writing and routine circumstance. I'm tempted to go to the book store tonight but I do tend to get lost there and part with a great deal of money. I've been pretty good with money lately. I decided to stop making big impulsive purchases of things that seem like "needs" but really aren't. We also haven't been going out to eat or anything. The amount of which this has improved my bank account is terrific. There's always the library and I do need to pick up the Season One DVDs of Supernatural I've got on hold there but I hate how the books there are so abused. There is nothing like picking up a new book that has been loved by no one but you. Perhaps I'm just as possessive with books as I can be with people. I'd also like a Moleskine, because ya know, you can't really be a hipster without one. Or perhaps just a new journal that looks inspiring. I only wish I didn't have such a fear of it being read. I feel like I have no honest space to pour myself into it. The cup overflows. Positivity and negativity tangled in a quiet and peaceful dance of war. Peaceful war? Sure it's possible if I say it is so.

I have been taking Biotin and Vitamin C (usually) daily for awhile now. I just bought another multi vitamin since the one I have was making me nauseous. I'd like to take a B Complex vitamin too, which I read can help a lot with energy levels and depression/mood swings but since I'm already taking a Multi I fear it may be too much. I'm tired all the time and I'd like my hair to grow a bit faster (never satisfied) so i'm really hoping to notice some changes after taking these. There is a little Biotin in my Multi and I already take a separate high potency Biotin (5000mcg) so I'm concerned that it's too much. But the Multi doesn't offer nearly enough Biotin to quit the other entirely. I tried google but no luck. I read that I'll basically just pee out any excess so it doesn't matter. What about the kidneys though? Some people say (google) that vitamins are actually bad for you. That they upset your natural balance and damage your DNA. I swear everything is bad for you these days. Everything is going to cause cancer. Everything's bad. Should we feel like the world is turning against us? Or have we turned against ourselves?

Anyway, I'm going to keep taking them and see if I notice an improvement in how I feel.

"Oz reappears towards the end of the series' canonical comic book continuation, Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight. The character was also shown briefly in Buffy's dream sequence during "The Long Way Home" arc in a collage of friends and family. "Retreat" is a five-issue story be written by Jane Espenson featuring Oz in a principal role.^[7] In Part One, Buffy and the army of Slayers are under intense fire from the public (in response to Harmony Kendall's vampire rights spokesmanship) and from the villain Twilight, able to track them down due to their use of magic. To evade Twilight, Buffy has Willow cast one last spell to take the submarine full of Slayers, witches and their Watchers to the Tibetan mountains so Oz may show them how to suppress their magical natures and lie low. As the submarine appears in the mountains Oz simply shrugs, displaying little surprise in his typical manner. Later he reveals to the Scoobies that he has a Tibetan (lycanthrope) partner named Bayarmaa and a son named Kelden now, and has learned to deal with his werewolf problem through Eastern medicine and philosophy. He agrees to help Buffy and her Slayers but also realizes the considerable danger she has brought to his home and family."

EX-FUCKING-CUSE ME JOSS WHEDON. REALLY.

Oz: It was stupid to think that you'd just be... waiting.
Willow: I was waiting. I feel like some part of me will always be waiting for you.

I'm convinced that nothing on television has ever broken my heart more than Willow and Oz not ending up together in the end. I cannot watch their final episodes together without tears. Seriously.

Alice knows Jenny is a crazy whore and we're all happy about it.

Jenny: Do you hear that? Oh my God, It's Monet...Monet has come back from the dead, and he wants me to give you a message. He says "I am so sorry for sitting in front of my pond in France and sketching those water lilies, and using the water lilies as actual inspiration. Sorry to offend Alice."

Alice: Oh wait he's talking to me, so weird...

Alice: Okay, I'll tell her.

Alice: He says don't ever fucking compare yourself to him.

But it's never Lupus.

It's the way that we live.

I just realized that since I'm sort of a slacker in order to reach my 50 books a year goal I need to read 35 books in 6 months. That's about 6 books a month. I will probably only accomplish this is if I continue to have no life and I hadn't really intended upon having a life any time soon so this may just work out. That is unless of course I am able to take classes this Fall. I'm still emailing around attempting to get the Drop/Delete form I need to have signed in order to try to get it approved. Then hopefully that happens and those two classes that should have dropped but didn't leaving F's on my record and $600+ in fees will cease to exist. Oh academia.
In other news (you can't really call these things news) The L Word is getting taken off of Instant Netflix July 1st and I've been trying to watch the last two seasons that are on there while they're still free. It's a bit heavy though, consider you've got a primarily female cast and imagine the overflow of cattyness. It's a good show though, particularly since it's on ShowTime and they can really express themselves by saying Fuck a lot. Obviously this adds spice to anything. Then again I am just a potty mouth. This season is a little strange though. Alice is really scraping the bottom of the barrel these days. Have some taste, Alice, I took a quiz and got you as my character result and you're really making alternate universe lesbian me look bad.

Not including the few I started or got halfway into and refused to finish...

Books Read So Far This Year:

1. Alice In Wonderland
2. Through The Looking Glass
3. Too Much Happiness
4. The Catcher In The Rye
5. Birds Of America: Stories
6. Eat, Pray, Love
7. I Was Told There'd Be Cake
8. Prozac Nation
9. Looking For Alaska
10. Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang
11. The Golden Compass
12. Pride and Prejudice
13. The Subtle Knife
14. The Amber Spyglass
15. Animal Farm
----
16. Everything That Rises Must Converge (in progress)
17. Sense & Sensibility (in progress)
18. The Unabridged Journals Of Sylvia Plath (in progress... forever)

Not your mother.

I am worried about money today like the rest of the world and thus annoyed by every possible thing. Last night I couldn't sleep so I wrote a particularly depressing entry in the notes of my phone. I haven't decided if I'm going to post it here yet as it's a little on the side of the heavy. My inbox is taunting me. Send more money to wildlife! 10 Healthy Foods You Should Be Eating! Yoga Moves! Listen, satan/inbox; The only thing I might do that is similar to that tonight is sit Indian style crying into a tub of ice cream while my cattle dog (he looks wild) lays at my feet and drools on my floor to the point where I'm suspicious over every mark and whether or not it's pee or drool.

I said good day, sir.

Alyson Hannigan tears = instant death.

"Oz... don't you love me?"
"My whole life... I've never loved anything else."

"How much?"

"Too much."

All I want to do is sleep? The past couple of weeks I've felt barely awake at all times.

Your argument is invalid.

Matt brought me bracelets that turn into dinosaurs when you take them off.

“Passion, it lies in all of us, sleeping... waiting... and though unwanted... unbidden... it will stir... open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us... guides us... passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love... the clarity of hatred... and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion maybe we'd know some kind of peace... but we would be hollow... Empty rooms shuttered and dank. Without passion we'd be truly dead.”